The more I read, research, experience and learn the more I come to the conclusion that the answer is love. “The answer to what” I hear you say, well…… the answer to everything! At the end of the day love is the only thing that can conquer all. It gives us meaning, purpose and a reason to live.
What helps us survive through unthinkable challenges? It’s not money it’s love!
What makes us constantly strive to become better people? It’s not science, it’s love!
What makes us glow inside when our surroundings and situation is bleak? It’s not food, it’s love!
I’ve been utterly blessed in my life, not only to be born into a loving family, but to have found a man that I can love forever, and who in turn loves me. The hunt however, was arduous! Sean and I met on R.S.V.P.COM and let’s just say, he was not the first date I went on! From the first day we met, it was comfortable, not sparkling, love stuck amazing, but like putting on your favorite shoes. It just felt right. We got on, we laughed, and at the end of the day, we just wanted to do it again. And so, from that first date, we saw each other every day, despite the hour between us and both having intense jobs at the time.
Within 3 weeks, my girlfriend recalls me saying when questioned about Sean, “Yeah, we’ll end up married” with absolute certainty. I only remember knowing that all the concerns, worries and negativity I’d had about men simply vanished with Sean. It just was what it was, and there were no games, no dramas, just two people who liked being together more than they liked being apart.
We got married in Baan BoPhut, a little boutique guest house in Koh Samui, Thailand. When we talked about how we wanted to get married, we both agreed, it was about us and our love and commitment to each other, nothing else mattered. We’d seen others get married with big weddings and all the trimmings, and it seemed to create more stress and expense all round. We were delighted that 22 of our close family and friends came over to celebrate with us, and it was a week we’ll never forget.
As the music played for me to walk out onto the beach and down the petal lined aisle, our guests seated and Sean standing under the flower laden arch, the heavens opened, and torrential rain soaked us all. Everyone ran for cover, and when the rain eased, we got married… under an umbrella on the beautiful beach of BoPhut. Our photos tell the story, two very happy drowned rats embarking on a life together. The wedding song was Van Morrison’s ‘The best is yet to come’ and really encompassed our belief in our future together.
Our honeymoon took us to Japan, and we spent 10 days snowboarding in Niseko. We felt like kids in a candy store, with powder so deep we got lost in it and fresh snow every single day!
Now, imagine if love was the answer to all of our challenges. Stop for a moment. Think of someone who you truly love with all of your heart. When you feel the intensity of genuine and pure love you become a better person and act according to that feeling. Your actions are pure and good and your life becomes a reflection of not only your love but also your positive actions.
What would happen if everyone had access to such love and quality relationships? Not only would we be happy, we would also remove any reason for war, crime or destruction. With love we could save the planet, with love we could reshape a war-torn country, with love we could end poverty and most importantly with love we can be truly happy within ourselves.
So, if love is the answer, how do we increase the amount of love we feel? Easy! Love is a simple emotion and will grow with use. It’s the same principle as exercise, the more exercise you do the easier it is, and the fitter you become the more you do.
Try repeating this blessing when thinking of people in your life. Imagine sending out loving kindness to them and feel the sensation of love growing inside you.
- May you be well
- May you be happy
- May you be peaceful
- May you be loved
My marriage isn’t perfect, far from it, but when I focus on the things that work and the parts I value, it grows better. And funnily enough, when I let my mind focus in on the crappy parts, (which happens to all of us, trust me) I get more of those. Love is like the rest of life, focus in on what you do want, not what you don’t.